beer thoughts

I have never had beer, and I will refrain from starting.
I take a few meds every day, antidepressants and such.
so I really shouldn't start drinking, even if I wanted to.
when I was a child, my father used to occasionally drink some sort of alchohol.
it was some sort of citrus drink? and he'd also drink wine.
I remember wanting to try it because it smelled good, thankfully nobody gave me any.
beer is very important to people, it always has been, and i feel like im obligated to try it at least once
because it's so well...important. but like I said, I should refrain from any substances for my health's sake.
my uncle is an alcoholic, I resent him.
I have dreams where I drink, it calms me down, if feels communal.
sometimes I wish I could turn my brain of per se, but I know I can't do it.
reminds me of when I was in the hospital and they gave me benadryl and I felt really good and sleepy, it made me relax.
I suffer from alot of stress, a lot of my friends smoke weed which is fine by me, but I feel kinda left out in a way.
I really shouldn't do anything but part of me wants to be cool and connect more to my friends interests.
peer pressure is very powerful, humans are social creatures, so we want to fit in.
but anyway, thats my screed, have a funny gif.